How IFS Helps Heal Trauma
If you’ve been through trauma, you’ve probably learned to protect yourself in powerful ways.
Maybe you shut down.
Maybe you get angry or anxious out of nowhere.
Maybe you just feel numb.
Trauma lives behind a protective door in your system. IFS treats that door, and the trauma sheltered behind it, with gentleness and compassion.
When trauma lives in your system, even safety can feel unsafe
Trauma doesn’t always announce itself loudly.
Sometimes it hides in hesitation, in overthinking or tension. You may recognise this part as it is always on alert, ready to run if needed.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re both too much and not enough, if you second-guess moments of peace, or keep repeating patterns that hurt, then you may be living with unhealed trauma.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a grounded, gentle way to meet that trauma, not with force, but with presence.
Why trauma feels so hard to “talk through”
Trauma isn’t stored as a memory you can easily describe. It’s stored in the body, the nervous system, and the parts of us that had to take control to keep us safe.
These parts might:
Shut down intimacy
Avoid certain memories
Overfunction at work
Use perfectionism, control, or dissociation to survive
They’re not irrational. They’re intelligent responses to past danger.
But over time, they can start running the show, even when the danger is long gone. That’s where IFS therapy becomes powerful.
The IFS approach: Listening to the parts that protect and remember
IFS sees the inner system as made up of parts, each carrying its own emotional load or protective job. When trauma occurs, two main types of parts emerge:
Exiles: parts that hold the original pain, fear, or shame
Protectors: parts that try to keep those exiles buried or hidden
You might recognise protectors as the inner critic, the controller, the numbing part, or the rage part.
IFS therapy helps you befriend these parts instead of overriding them. The goal isn’t to dig up traumatic memories. The goal is to create enough trust in your system that your Self - the calm, compassionate core of you - can begin to lead.
What trauma healing with IFS might feel like
At first, it’s about slowing down. Letting your system know that nothing will be forced. Over time, protective parts may begin to relax their grip—allowing you to gently access the exiles they’ve been shielding.
This might look like:
Feeling grief that’s been frozen for years
Discovering a younger part that still feels alone
Realising your anxiety was always protecting something tender
The healing comes not from catharsis or disclosure, but from building an internal relationship that’s grounded in compassion.
Trauma-informed, not trauma-pushing
Unlike some approaches that push for emotional exposure too early, IFS honours your system’s wisdom. It’s trauma-informed at its core. There’s no rush. No pressure to “go deep.” Only a steady invitation to listen, connect, and lead.
IFS helps you:
Work gently with your trauma without being overwhelmed
Build trust with protective parts like the inner critic or controller
Access your inner strength and resilience—your true Self
You can begin, even if part of you isn’t sure
Many people who start IFS therapy are nervous. A part of them wants to heal. Another part is afraid to start. That’s okay. We begin by listening to all of it—because even your hesitation is a part worth respecting.
IFS meets you exactly where you are.
All therapy sessions with Corene are online and paced to your comfort level.
Explore other articles:
IFS Therapy: A Gentle Map to Inner Healing
When Your Inner Critic Sounds Like the Voice of Reason
Why You Keep Getting in Your Own Way (And What To Do About It)
